APA provoking thoughts

Alas, the mourning period for Brownie is over. It is time to move on with my blog...

In the last week, I have attended a couple of Asian-centric events: The first one was a lecture by a good friend at Tufts University, who was the recipient of the 2005 Watson Fellowship. He went on to study the development of hip-hop culture in several different countries in Asia. More recently, I attended the Harvard APALSA Conference on Law and Public Policy ("Yellow Peril?")- where future badass lawyers of the world congregated at the law school to share their sentiments with regard to APA related issues. I shall elaborate more closely on both of these events below.

Hip Hop Culture in Asia

I have always known my friend Ryan to be a fantastic activist with regard to APA related issues. Therefore, I was excited to see him speak at Tufts University, particularly because we missed each other in Houston after my debacle at the airport a couple of weeks ago. Nevertheless, this time was going to be the first time that I would see him speak and engage in a topic that is of significant importance to him. Originally, I thought his talk was going to be mostly about what he studied in Asia: How Hip Hop Culture made its way to the Far East, and simply how that development has evolved with the changing socio, economic, political, and popular culture.

His passion for this topic was captivating and I was quite impressed with his ability to speak with such confidence on the subject matter. I was pleasantly surprised, though, when he seemingly changed the course of the topic to be more reflective of the broader Asian-American identity, and how there is a pressing need to develop a culture that we can claim as our own – and it was this part of the lecture that truly stuck with me.

The most thought-provoking question that he presented was simple, “What is Asian American culture?” – in which no one in the room could answer, including myself. Upon further reflection in the car with friends, I came to the realization that I have always had a specific definition for what Asian American culture means to me. More specifically, I have always perceived that the mere fact I have grown up in a bi-cultural setting, has in return, created a distinct Asian American culture. On the one hand, I speak Chinese at home and with my relatives; listen to Chinese songs; watch Chinese movies. On the other hand, I am as main stream as what most people would consider a typical American northeast liberal person: liberal arts college graduate; collegiate rower; avid cyclist; TV enthusiast. Therefore, my ability to straddle both cultures, in my definition, represents the true Asian American culture that I embody.

Upon further correlation with Ryan’s statement, my definition of Asian American culture simply does not stand. The reason is this: my experience is atypical. Certainly, there are many first generation Asian Americans in this country who share similar sentiments and experiences as I do. At the same time, there are many more who could loosely define their Asian Americanism as something else. Therefore, Ryan argues, there needs to be a movement to push for a more cohesively agreed upon definition for Asian American culture – whether the contributions come from the private or public sector, arts, entertainment, politics, etc.

Certainly, I was fascinated by the entire idea of creating a culture of our own. Ryan utilized the example of black culture and how that contributed to the creation of hip hop, jazz, and ultimately, a connecting sense of unity among a particular ethnic line. Why then, is it not possible for us to follow in the footsteps of African Americans and create a culture that is our own? Again, Ryan covered all of his bases in this lecture. He discussed his generally-agreed upon reasons as to why there has been less of a unifying movement for Asian Americans: In a simple list, Asians are passive, have a tendency to work for personal gain, and quite frankly, are complacent with being labeled the model minority as long as there is enough financial compensation to support the material binge of many Asian families.

In a nut shell, though, I embody a lot of these characteristics. Therefore, it is fully possible that thus far in my life, my aspirations to become a corporate lawyer serves as a backlash to what Ryan has defined as impediments to the development of Asian culture. Certainly, there are points to which I agree with him wholeheartedly. Then again, he does not necessarily recognize perhaps the rationale behind Asian’s drive for a financially rewarding career. To say the least, many Asian Americans in this country, and particularly on the east coast, are among the first in their family to graduate from college. Therefore, it is in my firm belief that for many of these people, financial compensation is a means for them to define success – particularly if monetary issues have been significant factor in their youths. In my own life, I know that having to constantly worry about the financial situation of my parents while growing up in the suburbs, contributed to my strong desire to pursue financially rewarding careers – like that of a corporate lawyer.

Nevertheless, since I am not contributing to this fledging development of a core Asian American identity and culture, then I am certainly contributing to the contrary. At the same time, my mind possesses these vague notions of desiring to help others – to work in the public sector as a defense attorney or for other public interest-oriented jobs. It is my desire to create a greater sense of an Asian American identity. But I also have a mindset – molded by my poor childhood – to pursue the financially rewarding route. Regardless of my choice, I hope to be able to utilize my career as a means to promoting this identity development because I foresee the types of benefits that could potentially derive from such an identity: political awareness, inclusion into the political scene, and perhaps, finally, the incorporation of Asian Americans into the mainstream media where we would no longer be viewed as perpetual foreigners.

APALSA

The transition from what I have just written above to my sentiments of the APALSA conference is indeed an abrupt one. For one thing, I discussed the need to develop a unified Asian American voice to act as an entity to influence political decisions. However, my experience at the conference reflects a completely different feeling. Before I go any further, though, I feel the need to preface this section by saying that never in any setting, have I been more intimidated than by this event – where the caliber of attendees simply blew my mind. There I was – standing among the dominant future lawyers, judges, corporate CEO’s of the world – and I could not help but feel insignificant compared to them. Normally, I would not be as intimidated, but looking around and seeing only Asian faces certainly heightened that feeling. Granted many of these students probably do not have significantly more fascinating life stories as someone like me. At the same time, though, because I have gone through the law school admissions process, LSAT’s, recommendations, and personal statements, I understand first hand how difficult it is to achieve distinctly high results without putting in a lot of effort. Therefore, if anything, I was completely in awe of the people who possess the drive and intellect to reach such high levels of achievement.

Back to my original point now: Even though I was intimidated by the conference overall, I couldn’t help but think to myself that so many of the students present, myself included, simply had the monetary mindset in mind. Ryan’s speech essentially made me reevaluate my priorities and goals – if only slightly – because he was able to interject a dimension into the argument that I may not have considered. He made a point to indicate the propensity for Asians to get rich, and move off into the suburbs with a lot of other Caucasian people; thereby abandoning the Asian communities in which they were once a part. I must admit that I do share the same desires, which makes this realization all the more frightening. Once I do make the money, will I just abandon the communities that have contributed so significantly to who I am? Or will I utilize this money to garner influence in an attempt to effectuate change?

Certainly, this isn’t completely new and it wasn’t my only realization. During one of the panel sessions, the panelist eluded to the previous nights’ festivities, in which Congressman Mike Honda was the key note speaker. Honda allegedly asked the crowd of Harvard Law Students whether any of them were first generation college graduates. Surprisingly enough, none of them raised their hands – which brings up an interesting question with regard to the influences of socio-economic levels amongst Asians and how that affects the overall performance of the children of these off springs at gaining admission to the most elite institutions in the world. The discovery of this phenomenon somehow made me feel more proud of my accomplishments; as a son of poor, Vietnamese-Chinese immigrants, my siblings have managed to escape from the ghettos and acquire a good college education. At the same time, all of these achievements were accomplished without the significant aide from parents or family alike – which, according to my interpretations of the Mike Honda inquiry – seemingly dictates the rates in which these people are accepted into top institutions. Therefore, should I really be kicking myself that certain doors were not open to me at an early age? Should I be bothered by the fact that these people (HLS students) – who I strive to want to be – came from much more privileged backgrounds that I could ever fathom?

Nevertheless, I have to say that this conference was indeed an eye-opening experience. On the one hand, I want to be financially stable. On the other hand, stability promotes conformity, which is something that idealistically, I cannot stand for. As I progress in my legal career, these APA related issues are going to be popping up sporadically, and I will be forced to confront them. I just hope I will be prepared to meet the challenge.