Virginia Tech Ramifications

For the past couple of days, I have been extremely uncomfortable with regard to the mass massacre at Virginia Tech. I completely empathize for those directly affected by this tragedy. But on a more personal level, I’m more uneasy about the aftermath that will ensue as a result of this incident because the perpetrator was Korean American. His Asian ethnicity will be sure to stir up my biggest fear, which is an Asian backlash among the drastically ignorant/mislead crowd – whether this backlash manifests itself in personal confrontations, in the blogsphere, or in other sources of media.

The biased media could be one potential fuel to this backlash. Those that may be more inclined to follow traditionally conservative/tabloid news outlets will find a barrage of in- your-face emphasis on the brutal killer nature of the shooter. One need not look further than the extremes of FOXNEWS and The New York Times as prime examples of media bias. Whereas traditional left-leaning New York Times seemingly portrays the killer as a victim ("You forced me into a corner"), FOXNEWS has a tendency to demonize the killer to an extreme ("LAST ANGRY WORDS").

Nevertheless, it has not a simple task to get over this ongoing uneasiness. This killer’s face has been plastered all over every major media outlet and in seemingly every site that I visit, his stone-cold glare stares back at me. In his eyes, I sense only rage, confusion, and insecurity. As a result, I can not help but to learn as much about this socio-path killer as possible and from as many news sources as possible. It is irrational to believe that one man’s actions can potentially affect an entire community that share a similar common ancestry. But Cho has managed to do just that. In the wake of the violent path that he has left behind and drilled school violence into America’s memory yet again, those that share his Asian ancestry are forced to confront their gender and ethnicity and a greater level than before.

Although I live in a seemingly sheltered environment among the left-leaning masses in the Northeast, I can’t help but to think about those people that may not share a similar liberal environment. Of course, I am generalizing a bit here – but for those in the majority that are not forced to confront diversity on a daily basis, it is easy for them to revert back to ignorant assumptions of a group that is as easily identifiable by skin pigmentation. Already, anonymous posts are going up on blogs everywhere – decrying Yellow Peril, evoking Asian de-masculinity, and spewing hate messages towards Asians using mainstream derogatory terms.

There is in fact, a tendency for those to incorporate the silent, anti-social personalities of Cho and apply those stereotypes to the entire group of Asian American males. Sometimes, there is an agenda attached to such an intent (read: political gains) and for others, shear ignorance. Regardless of the fact, this notion forces someone like me – an Asian American male – to seemingly have to defend my entire ethnic group and gender against those that harbor ill-sentiments towards my kind. This paranoid feeling raises Muslim-American sentiments after 9/11, of which I understand more fully after this incident. To be potentially on the receiving end of this backlash is indeed not something I wish upon any minority group.

What exactly do Cho’s actions and the ensuing backlash reveal about America’s contemporary society? This uneasiness I have alone is demonstrative of the fact that there is a tendency for human nature to be irrational and to jump to conclusions. At the same time, my fear is that this incident has invoked deep-seeded racial sentiments towards Asians as a whole (read: Yellow Peril). As it stands, China and the rest of Asia is growing in global influence, both politically and economically. Globalization has resulted in numerous factory jobs being outsourced to Asia. This phenomenon has created a culture of blame – where those that may be directly affected by the plight of jobs are forced to channel their misfortunes towards Asians – and not the corporations that move abroad - because they appear to be the ones taking away their jobs. In doing so, their irrational assumptions have contributed to this growing anti-Asian sentiment. The massacre at Virginia Tech only reinforces those sentiments because it allows them to channel their anger towards Cho’s ethnicity and all those racially associated with him. The media contributes to this phenomenon with an endless slideshow of Cho’s evil Asian face amongst the firearms that he used to end 33 lives.

I cannot help but to harbor such fear of a backlash resulting from this incident. As of now, the long terms effects of this incident are rather premature. But I am certain that in the coming weeks and months, there will be talk of immigration reform in order to limit the number of people coming from Asia. There will be experts upon experts who will claim that the school did not do enough to prevent this incident. More experts will be available to provide their two cents into every aspect of the incident in an attempt to decode the killer.

Finally, there will also be debate about the merits of the Second Amendment and of gun control. Conservatives will more likely push an agenda to legalize the right to bear concealed fire arms (this argument will merit a wholly separate entry) so that potential killers would think twice before committing another atrocity. On the other hand, liberals will blame the incident on the proliferation of firearms and the ease in which one can legally acquire these weapons. Either way, this debate will miss the most important point: These blame games cannot and will not bring back the deceased and will not comfort those that have lost loved ones. The focus should be a more macro issues with regard to perpetuated violence in our culture, as well as deep-seeded feelings if bigotry and hate. Until those elements are removed from our society, I fear beyond what I fear now, that somewhere sometime, another firecracker will explode in another environment, and the violence will continue completely race-blind.

New York - New York

Having been away from the city for almost a year, it was a refreshing experience to randomly visit New York again. We can chalk this experience up to the spontaneity I have been seeking in life. In some sense, I do miss the sounds of taxi brakes screeching, hordes of Chinese people in both Manhattan and Chinatown, not to mention the ridiculously overpriced bars and clubs that populate every block in this lively city.

What was even more refreshing was the sight of my college friends - the same ones that I may or may not have seen in the past two years. Sometimes, I am absolutely blown away at the fact that it has been nearly three years since many of us have even gotten together for an outing (because many graduated a year before I did). What this realization means is that we have indeed arrived in our mid-twenties; what comes with this territory is more overburdening responsibility, and certainly much more awareness with regard to decisions that could impact the rest of our lives.

For one night, though, the nostalgic feeling of being in college again permeated each of us. We gathered at Porky's on 21st street between 5th and 6th avenue - home of the perpetual college crowd that seemingly refuses the notion of growing older. The venue was everything you could ask for in a typical northeast college bar: droves of white people (in Manhattan -mind you - the most diverse city possibly in the United States) getting intoxicated on draft beers served in plastic cups, overbearing loud music consisting of Bon Jovi's greatest hits, drunken make-out sessions all over the place, and sticky floors to boot. For a second there, I was transported back to Saratoga Springs, or even Boston for that matter - based on the nearly homogenous scene alone. This fact makes you wonder why anyone in New York City would consider waiting in line and having to deal with the bouncers outside (Note: I did have fun inside - but that can be attributed to being with my friends. I did, however, just win a free open-bar party at Porky's for this Friday, which I had to decline.).

Nevertheless, it turns out that in college, the people I was closest to were for the most part, Asian. I tend to forget this fact when I hang out with almost no one from my alma mata in Boston - preferring instead to associate with my high school friends and other people I have met in Boston. The night can be characterized as fun and awkward at the same time because my ex-girlfriend of three years and I share a lot of mutual friends. I guess it is a little strange that I have a tendency to stay in touch with those that I have been in a relationship with - even if 'staying in touch' means merely sending each other a birthday message here and there.

Because I haven't seen her in a year, her presence made me feel a little strange. For a short moment, I felt like we were still together because we were in the presence of all of our college friends, not to mention a bar that brought back the nostalgic college feeling. She made it clear to me (thru the loud music) that it was awkward for her too to see me because she is dating someone, and when we were dating, she hated the fact that I stayed in touch with my ex's. The night ended typical enough: respect pounds with the boys, hugs with the girls, and an awkward half-hug followed by the Hollywood-slow motion walk away from the ex while Semi-Sonic's "Closing Time" played over the loud speakers (just kidding...that would have been funny though). As awkward as that may have seemed, I am very much okay with this relationship structure I’ve managed to cultivate for myself.

The rest of the weekend can be characterized as a money-spending expedition, where I managed to throw away almost three months worth of my drinking budget at one single venue. New York City can be an extremely expensive place if you don’t pay attention to your spending habits. I can see how people might be caught up in a New York moment, especially for those not accustomed to city living: Bright lights, lively nightlife, plethora of similar aged people everywhere – it’s essentially the largest meat market packed into one small over-developed island. However, if you’re young, single, and present-oriented, New York is certainly the place to be and will have a lot to offer. On the other hand, if you wish to save a little money, and would like to ultimately develop a life beyond drinking, clubbing, and expensive mediocre dinners, New York may be the worst place yet. I do sincerely enjoy my infrequent visits. Any more trips might jeopardize the positive impressions I have attached to this exciting city.

Abandoned Homefront

Abandoned Homefront

This article in the Boston Globe got me thinking...

I have been volunteering at the New England Shelter for Homeless Veterans for about 18 months now, and I have come to know some of the people there quite well. What started as a rather uncomfortable, seemingly forced attempt at volunteering has actually turned into an enjoyable experience where everyday, someone manages to enlighten me with their diverse experiences. Just today, I was enlightened by a flamboyantly friendly gentleman named Steve, who taught me about the literature of J.R. Tolkien.

Nevertheless, the dichotomy in my everyday life is fascinating in a sense that during the day, I work with immensely privileged and brilliant scientists and by the time I reach the shelter, I encounter those that have seemingly hit the trough in their lives. For one reason or another, they are in the shelter – unable to gain solid economic footing and forced to co-exist with a large group of men in a common area – all of whom share a unique bond in serving in the greatest military force in the world. Yet, these men and women are largely bright and cheerful – seemingly content at the fact that they are among their peers – despite the apparent hard times that may have recently befallen them.

These are the same men and women who were once at the front line defending this country from all threats – foreign and domestic. Many of them come from more socially disadvantaged backgrounds. Therefore, probability is that many face difficult transitions to civilian lives – resulting in their ultimate fate inside the walls of the shelter. Aside from the government subsidized shelter, it makes me wonder how the United States Government actually provides for its soldiers after they return from combat. Is there a pension involved? Are there career advancement opportunities in the private sector for those former soldiers who risk their lives at the front line?

Given our current situation in Iraq, I begin to question the merit of war – especially having to deal with the aftermath of the soldiers when they return to civilian life (granted the number of soldiers in the shelter is minimal compared to the vast size of the US Army). It seems to me that largely disadvantaged young men and women join the all-volunteer military in order to get out and see the world. For many, it is their only opportunity to move away from the poor conditions that may have plagued their lives growing up. Yet, these soldiers have absolutely no opinion when it comes to their deployment because they are bounded by the military credo – an oath if you will – to abide by the orders passed onto them from higher ranked officers. Lower ranked officers are supposed to abide by their superior’s orders; no questions asked.

As one moves up the military chain of command, the one at the top is the commander in chief - who by all means - has stood at the other end of the socio-economic spectrum for all of his life. For the most part, he has no idea as to the concerns of those who serve in the military. It is this same military that is currently being used as an occupying force in Iraq; and for what? Bush went to war under false pretenses in order to protect the interests of the multi-national corporations and the wealthy elite that essentially paid his way into office. In return, they ask that he fabricate a non-existent threat in order create a sense of urgency so that these corporations can increase profits and reward the shareholders (i.e. Halliburton). Four years, 3,300 American deaths, and an imminent civil war in Iraq later, we discover that these corporations are still generating fantastic profits. Their leaders and shareholders are very much content with their lives…but who is ultimately paying the price to preserve the American way of life?

Not only are funds being diverted to meet the increasing need to protect our soldiers abroad, these same funds are being siphoned from the very social programs that provide the basic necessities not covered by private enterprises; necessities such as public education, social empowerment, crime prevention, etc.

This type of thinking ultimately brings me back to the shelter. As I serve one homeless veteran after another every week – greeting them and seeing the looks on their faces – I can’t help but wonder if they ever stopped to think about how the government has essentially failed them. They fought to preserve the principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In reality, though, they were used as pawns to protect the interests of a wealthy social elite that holds the power in this country. This same elite indirectly guided our soldiers to war in the Middle East. While many die overseas, and many more suffer emotionally as a result of their tragic loss, where do we begin to find justice for those who die to protect our country from a justification that was fabricated?

Life Decisions

I turned 24 a few days ago – and much like many of the previous birthdays, I don’t feel much different than the preceding year. I am still in the same job, have the same friends, and frequent the same establishments. The only difference, I suppose, is that I am now closer to my mid-20’s than at any other point in time and therefore, cannot be considered ‘young’ anymore. In colonial times, I would probably already have been married, conceived six children, and probably half way to an early grave as a result of poor dental hygiene and daily laborious physical labor.

Thankfully, we live in the 21^st century – a time of technology, microwavable dinners, and the age of global warming. Aside from the threat of global catastrophe, most people, including myself, need only worry about personal, non-life threatening issues that may seem miniscule in comparison to the concerns of even our parents when they were growing up. Just to provide an example of the extreme differences: When my parents were my age, their concerns revolved around having enough food to eat when they were fleeing Vietnam, caring for sickly family members, and adapting to a new culture where the customs and the language were completely foreign to them.

In stark contrast, my concerns are whether or not I will be able to get into a good law whether I will be able to pay for my education, or how I will spend my summer – whether that be working in New York City for a major law firm – or taking leisure time to pursue endeavors of my own interest. From an external perspective, my parents’ concerns back then easily trump the concerns I have now. However, the times are different. Essentially, our parents risked their livelihoods in order for us as first generation children of America, to pick up where they left off. Therefore, the fact that I have these choices presented in front of me is a true testament to the success of my parents to be able to provide my siblings and me with unlimited dreams beyond anything they could have fathomed when they first came to this country.

With that said, one of the inevitabilities of gaining an extra year of wisdom is that you tend to think about things from different perspectives. From year to year, this realization is barely noticeable. However, when compared to my thought process when I first embarked on my college journey six years ago, the perspective has changed dramatically. For example, my main concern when I first left for college was primarily social; the thought of getting away from home and having this whole new sense of freedom became my light at the end of the tunnel. Although I wanted to excel academically as well, I didn’t exactly know why I wanted to do so – only because I have seemingly been programmed to do so from an early age.

In some sense, I did well in both these respects, and wouldn’t change my experiences at all because these experiences contributed significantly to my ever-evolving thought process. Presently, as I prepare the necessary steps to become a law student, the perspective has completely changed. Rather than being excited at the prospect of leaving for school again for purely social reasons, this time around, I am much more apprehensive.

This feeling can most probably be attributed to growing older and having the vision to see more than just four years down the line, as it seemed to be while I was in college. When I was younger, there were less things to consider: Will I like my classmates? Will I fit in socially? Now, the questions circulate around: Will I be able to get a decent job after graduation? How will I pay for school? Will I meet the right people in the next three years to further my career? The social aspect definitely takes a back seat to the more pressing issues.

Along the same lines, I have come to realize that my academic success in law school could be vital to my employment opportunities in the future. Not only that, but I have come to realize how important an established network is in contributing to one’s success – hence the hesitation I have with leaving Boston yet again. For the first time, I have a concrete goal to do well in my legal education because my actions at this junction in my life could potentially dictate my life and opportunities for possibly the rest of my life. Perhaps that is why I have been finding myself thinking a lot – about my next three years, my career, my family and friends, etc, and essentially, how my decision now could impact the rest of my life. Try as I may - but no Excel Sheet will be able to give me a definite answer as to where would be the best destination for me. I simply have to close my eyes and jump.

There is less than two weeks for me to make a decision. Perhaps I may be putting too much emphasis on this process itself. As they always say, things will ultimately work out in the end. Unfortunately, very little people are able to provide advice for those who are caught in the middle of the process. Welcome to 24, and to the first days of the rest of my life.