Life Decisions

I turned 24 a few days ago – and much like many of the previous birthdays, I don’t feel much different than the preceding year. I am still in the same job, have the same friends, and frequent the same establishments. The only difference, I suppose, is that I am now closer to my mid-20’s than at any other point in time and therefore, cannot be considered ‘young’ anymore. In colonial times, I would probably already have been married, conceived six children, and probably half way to an early grave as a result of poor dental hygiene and daily laborious physical labor.

Thankfully, we live in the 21^st century – a time of technology, microwavable dinners, and the age of global warming. Aside from the threat of global catastrophe, most people, including myself, need only worry about personal, non-life threatening issues that may seem miniscule in comparison to the concerns of even our parents when they were growing up. Just to provide an example of the extreme differences: When my parents were my age, their concerns revolved around having enough food to eat when they were fleeing Vietnam, caring for sickly family members, and adapting to a new culture where the customs and the language were completely foreign to them.

In stark contrast, my concerns are whether or not I will be able to get into a good law whether I will be able to pay for my education, or how I will spend my summer – whether that be working in New York City for a major law firm – or taking leisure time to pursue endeavors of my own interest. From an external perspective, my parents’ concerns back then easily trump the concerns I have now. However, the times are different. Essentially, our parents risked their livelihoods in order for us as first generation children of America, to pick up where they left off. Therefore, the fact that I have these choices presented in front of me is a true testament to the success of my parents to be able to provide my siblings and me with unlimited dreams beyond anything they could have fathomed when they first came to this country.

With that said, one of the inevitabilities of gaining an extra year of wisdom is that you tend to think about things from different perspectives. From year to year, this realization is barely noticeable. However, when compared to my thought process when I first embarked on my college journey six years ago, the perspective has changed dramatically. For example, my main concern when I first left for college was primarily social; the thought of getting away from home and having this whole new sense of freedom became my light at the end of the tunnel. Although I wanted to excel academically as well, I didn’t exactly know why I wanted to do so – only because I have seemingly been programmed to do so from an early age.

In some sense, I did well in both these respects, and wouldn’t change my experiences at all because these experiences contributed significantly to my ever-evolving thought process. Presently, as I prepare the necessary steps to become a law student, the perspective has completely changed. Rather than being excited at the prospect of leaving for school again for purely social reasons, this time around, I am much more apprehensive.

This feeling can most probably be attributed to growing older and having the vision to see more than just four years down the line, as it seemed to be while I was in college. When I was younger, there were less things to consider: Will I like my classmates? Will I fit in socially? Now, the questions circulate around: Will I be able to get a decent job after graduation? How will I pay for school? Will I meet the right people in the next three years to further my career? The social aspect definitely takes a back seat to the more pressing issues.

Along the same lines, I have come to realize that my academic success in law school could be vital to my employment opportunities in the future. Not only that, but I have come to realize how important an established network is in contributing to one’s success – hence the hesitation I have with leaving Boston yet again. For the first time, I have a concrete goal to do well in my legal education because my actions at this junction in my life could potentially dictate my life and opportunities for possibly the rest of my life. Perhaps that is why I have been finding myself thinking a lot – about my next three years, my career, my family and friends, etc, and essentially, how my decision now could impact the rest of my life. Try as I may - but no Excel Sheet will be able to give me a definite answer as to where would be the best destination for me. I simply have to close my eyes and jump.

There is less than two weeks for me to make a decision. Perhaps I may be putting too much emphasis on this process itself. As they always say, things will ultimately work out in the end. Unfortunately, very little people are able to provide advice for those who are caught in the middle of the process. Welcome to 24, and to the first days of the rest of my life.