Growing up

I was recently compelled to think about the notion of growing up, and how my decisions these days have a greater impact on the rest of my life than in recent years. Although I disagree with this notion, I cannot help but think about how certain decisions will impact my life.

For example, I plan to move in with my law school girlfriend next year in order to save a substantial amount of money. Given our situation, it made more financial sense to split a one bedroom, as opposed to having separate apartments. We didn't exactly arrive at this decision in a cavalier manner; rather, I had given careful consideration to our general personalities, and whether or not we could coincide in peaceful co-existence for an entire year, along with the pressures and workload that come with the second year of law school. On the one hand, we stand to save approximately $3,000/year each, which could turn out to be substantial, especially if next summer doesn't turn out the way I have envisioned. Having that extra cash lying around would serve as a fantastic buffer.

On the other hand, there is always this risk that things 'may not work out'. Surprisingly, this aspect doesn't concern me as much - her and I have this strange understanding, and quite frankly, we have a very laisse faire approach to relationships, which I value completely. It's extremely important to have a similar goal in mind, as well as a similar lifestyle, in order to make any relationship work. More than that, I don't think we necessarily place much emphasis on 'the future', which encompasses life beyond law school. This void allows us to live in the moment, and enjoy each other's company, without the added pressure of 'growing up'.

However, therein lies the problem. I'm sitting here, writing, and it's entirely possible that despite my cavalier approach to life, she may harbor different future goals. After all, I'll be 27 when this whole law school ordeal is said and done, and quite frankly, people start making important decisions with their lives at that age. Heck, people start making important decisions at my age! But if this was an issue, I would ultimately be buying into the societally - imposed values that may not resonate with everyone. Long ago, I figured out that there was no one master key to life. Everyone approaches their set of life circumstances differently, and no two lives are alike. After all, what would be the fun if I were to plan my life exactly.

I never thought I would end up in Connecticut, and chances are, I'm going to be where I want to be after I graduate two years from now. The best that I can do is to make the most out of my particular set of circumstances, rather than force them to fit into someone else's conception of life. Don't get me wrong - I do support having a goal at the end of the tunnel. However, it doesn't matter how I get there, just that I get there in the end.

So to make a long story short, growing up doesn't necessarily require that I have to jeopardize my approach to life to fit someone else's conception of what my life should be. In fact, I don't want to be confined by a set of pressures that don't apply to me. Rather, I guess I'll just have to see what feels right. Moving in with my gf is not the first big step that will lead to even greater life stepping stones. If it happens, so be it - but I'm not holding my breath. I prefer it that way.