Harvard Square

Harvard Square is a place that is near and dear to my heart. In high school, my closest friends and I would congregate where I am sitting now -- the outdoor patio at ABP -- to discuss the events surrounding our youthful lives. We talked about our aspirations, our concerns, and most importantly, we just enjoyed our time together as teenagers. Seven years after high school, I get the sense that our conversations would mostly be the same, only the focus would be different. Instead of discussing apprehensions about college, or even some remote romantic relationship we might have been involved in at the time, we would likely be talking about more pressing issues: careers, marriage, family, and financial woes - topics that were completely outside of our sphere of comprehension only a few years ago.

However, instead of having my friends here as we speak, I sit with three empty chairs facing me. No longer do we have the luxury of congregating whenever we so pleased. The topics that would fill our conversational play list, are also the same ones that are preventing us from getting together at the drop of a hat. We are at different stages in our lives; our social connections have expanded beyond the realm of our tight clique; and we live in different cities, in different regions of the country. In short, we're growing up.

This inevitable consequence of life also leads me to think much more about the future more so than ever before. Essentially, my life is at a standstill because of my three year commitment to live in Hartford for law school. That much is certain. Beyond that, however, is what yields a proverbial question mark: What do I want to do with my life, where do I want to do it, and who do I want to do it with? As I've mentioned countless times before, I miss home, and everyone and everything associated with it. Just today, I spent an hour at the Charles, encouraging my parents to take our English Bulldog for a pleasant stroll. This act on my part would have been unheard of a few years ago. However, I seem more inclined to spend time with my parents and do things with them I otherwise wouldn't - merely because of my infrequent appearance at family events. I guess leaving home for college and graduate school has made me feel more guilty for leaving my family behind.

At the same time, all this experience was necessary for me to appreciate the undeniable connection I have with home, as well as the sense of comfort I feel everytime I drive back and see the exit for 128. The worries and anxieties I have in Hartford -- such as gas prices, law school, loans, etc... -- all seemingly melt away when I'm home. Perhaps that is why I feel the great sense of urgency to return here after my time in Hartford because I know of no other place that would offer me this feeling.

On the other end of the spectrum is my innate desire to be more than simply where my home dictates. What that means is that I want to be someone in my career, that ultimately makes and difference and has a significant impact on people or organizations. As such, I am open to possibilities to go wherever affords me this opportunity to be the best lawyer I can be.

This brings me to additional anxieties that only Hartford is able to produce in my life. My first year is over, and I'm not terribly excited about the prospect of employment next summer, given my mediocre performance relative to my classmates. Grades remain the only blemish on my otherwise standout resume. As such, I'm worried that I may not be given that opportunity to prove myself to be an otherwise extremely capable, driven, and talented individual. My hope is to make the most out of my experience -- taking every opportunity to present myself in court, research pertinent issues, write compelling briefs, and maybe even get to know everyone on more than simply a work level.

Either way, I hope to return back to the Boston area, and to where it all began. I want to be able to sit and continue to chat with my best friends in Harvard Square, and observe in awe as our conversations continue to evolve with our ever evolving lives. I have faith that in the end, everything will work out, and that Harvard Square will be ready some years down the line -- holding constant and without change -- waiting for us to occupy this table once again.