Asian American Heritage Month

It's nearing the end of Asian American Heritage Month, and I am surprised at myself for not writing an entry dedicated to this pan-Asian movement. However, I do have a legitimate excuse: this week will mark my last week of work, and my Asia backpacking trip is just around the corner. Needless to say, I have been busy squeezing out whatever is left of my social life into these last precious few weeks. Let's just say that I won't be sad to experience the change, though.

Nevertheless, I was originally going to write about my preparations for this trip. But instead, my wandering eyes turned to an essay written by a graduating Amherst College senior in today's New York Times. The essay was fantastically moving - the essay spoke a lot about this guy's life and how the people in his life made his trials and tribulations seem a bit less challenging. He emphasized that his lower socio-economic standing was in no way, an impediment to his drive and success - culminating in graduation from one of the finest liberal arts institutions in the country.

Of course, the "bottom" factor reminded me of my own upbringing. It's funny - six months have passed since I completed my law school application essay. Yet, looking back, I felt like so much of that two page essay did not capture the essence of what it was like growing up as a first generation Chinese American with parents who spoke little English. Whereas his essay captures the essence of the characters that invariably led to his success, my condensed essay falls far short by neglecting to mention the support structure in which my family and friends came to contribute to my upbringing.

It was this structure that directly contributed to my pending success. My background was not 'ideal': I come from a poor immigrant family - with parents who worked extremely hard and sacrificed a great deal in order to provide my siblings and me with a nurturing and environment. Culturally, I didn't fully adapt to the American culture until we moved to the suburbs. Before that, my siblings and I were immersed in mostly Chinese culture: living on the fringe of Chinatown, speaking Chinese at home, and even watching more Chinese-produced television than regular American programming.

Even though I have more education under my belt than both my parents combined now, I was not pushed for academic success while growing up. Therefore, my siblings and I were left to discover, in our individual fashions, why we needed to succeed in education. I don't think I realized the extent of my capabilities until college - where I was forced to confront the ramifications of my own decisions. Moreover, I grew up constantly worried over the volatility of my family's financial circumstances. Even as a child, I remember the lessons that my parents have imposed upon us regarding the importance of being stable in our careers.

I am sure that the financial volatility of my family situation growing up, undeniably contributed to why I am so practical today in my decisions, and certainly why I am so risk-adverse when it comes to deviating from a very traditional career path. It is a shame, however, that since college, where many of my peers were significantly better off financially than I was, I have seemingly enacted a mental block on my past experiences. For the most part, I have had scant conversations in college with people regarding the trials and tribulations that I have faced to get to that point.

In fact, I preferred to keep people in the dark about my upbringing for one reason or another. As a result, from initial impressions, I may be inclined to believe that many people view me as a privileged, over-achieving Chinese kid: small, highly selective Northeast liberal arts school, college rower, high school lacrosse player - when in fact I was only a Chinese kid who wanted to fit into the majority. Thankfully, many of these sentiments have seemingly melted away as a result of my moving back home. College was too much of a bubble - it made me almost neglect my turbulent past, which I understand now to be a motivating factor in almost every facet of my life.

Why does my story have anything to do with Asian Heritage Month? Considering I have just finished applying to law school (still waiting on word from BC Law - which may not understand the extent of my personal experiences because I failed to acknowledge them in the many letters that I have sent them), my background is unique in that it speaks strongly about my character development in the face of adversity.

Yet, because I happen to check the box that indicates "Asian American" on all my applications, there is a certain stigma attached to the connotation. The "Model Minority Myth" and Affirmative Action has created a social environment in which Asians are often generalized to be academically inclined - almost if not exceeding that of whites. In my own experiences, however, academic achievement and high test scores, with a few exceptions, is still largely tied to socio-economic class, not to mention the educational attainment of the parents. Generally speaking, those Asians that are the most academically inclined usually have highly educated parents to oversee their educational development.

What does this notion spell for someone with my disadvantaged background? It means that we are lumped together with the high achieving masses. Asians already make up a disproportionate ratio of students in higher education. Therefore, affirmative action in college and grad school admissions, which largely favors under-represented minorities (Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans) with relatively lower objective admissions numbers, have cast aside many Asians from disadvantaged backgrounds with close to the same numbers. It doesn't matter whether these under-represented minorities come from privileged backgrounds - their skin color is seemingly enough to reflect the diversity pledges of schools.

Even though my struggles parallel that, or maybe even exceed some of the other favored disadvantaged minorities, in the end, when reported statistics indicate a certain percentage of Asian Americans in each incoming class, that percentage may not reflect the overall socio-economic spectrum among admitted students. Therefore, there may be very little incentive for admissions offices to admit more of an over-represented minority.

Of course, none of this is an attack on affirmative action, because I firmly believe in the program. The most pressing issue, however, is that affirmative action has become so focused on skin color, that it has moved away from the socio-economic spectrum in favor of skin color only. I don't have the statistics to back this assertion, but I'm almost positive that I have read studies pertaining to this phenomenon somewhere.

Unfortunately, I almost always compare myself to those that may have had a less volatile childhood than I have had. The fact that someone is Asian, automatically warrants comparison on my part. Many times, I look to those high achieving Asian Americans around me, and wonder why it is that I couldn’t achieve what they have. But then, thanks to my reawakening since being at home and having time to write down my thoughts, I realized that my achievements in the face of adversity, is not something to hide (like in college), but something to use as a constant reminder of how far I have come in the grand scheme of life. Asian Heritage Month is supposed to celebrate the achievements of Asian Americans in American society. Let me start by celebrating mine first.